Why are wives of narcissists treated the most cruel? Especially behind closed doors?

The long term spouse of a narcissist is the ultimate doormat.

The ultimate cushion to the narcissist’s own inner rage, turmoil, and chaos, and the purpose of the cushion is to absorb blow after blow, to prevent the narcissist’s own demise.

The narcissist is a self-destructive beast, and the only thing that prevents the narcissist from fully self-destructing, is having a target (supply) which is capable of absorbing the narcissist’s regular stream of self-destructive blows, through narcissistic projection.

Through narcissistic projection, the narcissist creates an effective shield against their own self-generated onslaught, meaning instead of being on the receiving end of the onslaught, it is instead handed to the target to take on and deal with.

Although the narcissist tries to use everyone to their advantage, no-one is capable of saving them from themselves quite like their long-term co-habiting partner.

Their long-term co-habiting partner, gives nothing less than their all and everything, to ensure the narcissist’s survival.

Oftentimes, perhaps most of the time, the partner does not even quite grasp the role they are playing, or who they are playing with.

They are just trying to survive, survive a predicament which not even they fully understand.